In a previous section we discussed the use of attributions, which we use to indicate who is speaking and to add color to a scene. An attribution is a sentence or a group of sentences set immediately before or after the dialogue line and in the same POV, used to signal who is speaking. In contrast to tags, we separate attributions from the dialogue with a period, never a comma.
A good rule for writers is to keep it simple when using dialogue attributions. As with tags, too much fluff when attributing dialogue will weigh it down and pull the reader away from the dialogue itself. When too flowery, the reader pauses to imagine this thing the character is doing as he speaks.
Another problem that keeps popping up when writing drafts is to use tags and attributions on the same dialogue line. If who is speaking is clear, the tag isn’t needed. For example:
“Why can’t you be more like your brother?” Maria said, and picked up the pile of socks jammed next to the hamper.
“Why can’t you be more like any other person on this planet?” Henry replied, and stomped from the room.
“I don’t know why I married you,” she neared the window, muttering.
He sighed. “I ask myself the same question every day,” he said.
In all the examples above, the action combined with the attribution is overkill.
“Why can’t you be more like your brother?” Maria picked up the pile of socks jammed next to the hamper
.
“Why can’t you be more like any other person on this planet?” Henry stomped from the room.
“I don’t know why I married you.” She neared the window.
He sighed. “I ask myself the same question every day.”
Though attributions work like dialogue tags, they are less obtrusive and spice dialogue in ways that simple tags can’t. If there is a choice, attributions are usually preferable. For example:
Boring: “I hate you,” Maria said.
Exciting: “I hate you.” Maria threw the ring in his face.
Showing her anger will keep the pace moving, rather than slowing the reader down, and it still attributes the speech to Maria.
When rewriting, we usually need only one attribution (or two) every four to five lines. We work on one page at a time and examine the dialogue. If we see four consecutive lines with an attribution or tag, we look first to see if one is necessary. Is it clear who is speaking? If not, we examine the lines to detect the point where a reader might lose track of the speakers and insert one. If “said” is appropriate, we can use it, unless there’s a way to append an attribution to add color, movement, or emotion.
In a previous section we discussed the use of attributions, which we use to indicate who is speaking and to add color to a scene. An attribution is a sentence or a group of sentences set immediately before or after the dialogue line and in the same POV, used to signal who is speaking. In contrast to tags, we separate attributions from the dialogue with a period, never a comma.
A good rule for writers is to keep it simple when using dialogue attributions. As with tags, too much fluff when attributing dialogue will weigh it down and pull the reader away from the dialogue itself. When too flowery, the reader pauses to imagine this thing the character is doing as he speaks.
.