Wednesday, May 22, 2013
By OFW editor:
Published: September 22, 2013
I’m not the most even-tempered person in the world. I admit that I sometimes lose my shit over really stupid things. Often. I do it often. However, most people don’t know the half of it. Why? Because I learned long ago to manage my anger. I don’t suppress it, but I do find ways of venting before I head off and do something stupid or illegal. I figure with all the shenanigans going on in the publishing industry with bullshit reviews, shitty books becoming bestsellers, and general authors behaving badly stories, we could all use a couple of tips to help us with anger management. Here’s a few things you might find helpful to do the next time you see red.
1. Find a happy song.
Now, play the shit out of it. Still not happy? Well the song should at least kill your will to live. With no will to live, you’re not so likely to hurt someone. Good job.
2. Stress balls.
Come on, tell me they aren’t fun to squeeze. Sure, they might not make you less mad, but they strengthen the hands. Useful? I think so.
When I’m angry, I eat. It’s tough to pitch a tantrum/commit a homicide on a full belly.
Booze makes you sleepy. If it doesn’t, you’re simply not drinking enough. Now, I’m not condoning binge drinking or alcoholism. I’m just saying that sometimes, a good drunk and a massive hangover cools that fire in your gut…or forces it out into the toilet.
Can I just say that I’ve never been angry enough to exercise? But I’ve been told it works.
Cleaning is the best way to force all that negative energy out of you. Beat some rugs (empty rugs), clean the lights, haul out the shit in your basement. By the time you’re done, you’ll either be happy again because you found that thing that went missing a long time ago (not a body) or you’ll be too exhausted to care about being mad.
7. Break something.
Just no bones or priceless antiques. No windows, headlights or anything that might get you arrested. Sometimes all you need is the sound of shattered glass to cool your temper. I like to keep crappy glass items around just for that purpose.
Curse a lot. Do it loudly. Who gives a shit that your neighbors think you’re nuts? Pfft. They should be happy you let it out in a burst of colorful language rather than bringing it to their door. Try it. It’s fun. See how many you can string together.
In a writing sort of way. Sometimes the best way to release anger, and come up with a killer story, is just to let that anger fuel a vengeful murder plot you can be proud of. Don’t carry out said plot. Create a fictional character to do it. Once you start, you’ll forget why you got so riled up, or you’ll just stop caring.
10. Take a step back, breathe and relax.
Sometimes we get angry over something really stupid. Sometimes we need to lose our shit just to feel alive. What’s more invigorating than a little self-righteous indignation and fury? Not much. Before you go off half-cocked, make sure you’re not mad for the sake of being mad.
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