Friday, December 06, 2013
Ten Clues It's Time To Call it a Night
By OFW editor:
Published: July 27, 2013
So how to you write a drunk character? No, falling all over the place is too cliché. And honestly, that’s not a sign of pissed-out-of-your-mind drunk. Some folks can be sloshed and still manage to keep themselves upright. If you’ve ever experienced or observed “Ladies Night” at a local bar, you’ll see it’s the little things that confirm one is way too drunk. So, here are a few of the little clues that should tell you it’s time to put the bottle down and get the hell home.
1. No Shoes…Where are your shoes?
You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are but you are certain you did not take them off. Immediately you search other people’s feet to see if someone might have stolen your shoes. In no time, the evening has changed from “Party On!!” to an intensive shoe search and rescue mission.
2. You cannot fasten your own pants.
You’ve had way too many mojitos when you have to ask a stranger to do up your pants for you.
3. You love everyone.
Also, that’s a sign you're annoyingly drunk. Just saying.
4. You start crying.
Why? Who knows? It’s anyone’s guess. You just know that you are so overwhelmingly sad that you have to let it all out. One giant, snotty ugly-cry to end the evening.
5. You’re not sure if the house you’re in is yours…and you can’t recall how to get home.
If you can’t remember leaving your house, but you don’t recognize the house you’re in…stop drinking now.
6. You’re convinced the bartender is cheating you.
Because you can’t taste the alcohol in your drinks. So you accuse him of giving you virgin drinks. Of course he denies it, but you know what he’s about. You might even get violent if that big guy by the door would just look away for a minute.
7. You want to kick someone’s ass…
Anyone will do. Even your best friend. What matters is that you punch someone right now.
8. You start every conversation with, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."
Sadly, you’re too hammered to realize there’s no other way to take what your drunk ass is about to say.
9. You fall over…while sitting down.
It’s not the people that fall over while walking who have to worry, it’s the ones who can’t even manage to sit straight that are in trouble.
10. You believe dancing with your arms flailing around your head while sticking out your ass and screaming “Hell yeah!” is just about the sexiest thing anyone in the bar will ever see.
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