Ten Things Every Writer Should Have
By OFW editor: Renée Miller
Published: August 17, 2013
There are probably thousands of neat little gadgets a writer could find useful, but how many are vital to the writing process? Newbs get lots of advice on what they should buy to make their writing process easier, and I know you all shudder at the idea of more thoughtful suggestions, but these are truly must-haves for every writer. A couple of them don’t exist yet, so all of you inventive types out there should get on fixing that problem. Okay?
1. Slippers
Because you’re not honestly thinking about going outside. You've got work to do. Why bother with shoes? Shoes just make you think you should do shit. Slippers have no expectations.
2. Water-proof, food-proof, fireproof, cat-proof, coffee-proof, smash-proof—an indestructible keyboard.
I don’t even know how many keyboards I’ve been through. My current laptop has been with me for about a year, and most of the keys are blank. The letters have worn away. Other keyboards have worn out long before the computer does for various reasons. I’m clumsy, my kids are clumsy, my pets are assholes—you do the math.
3. Time-Out Chair
So we have somewhere to go when we deserve to be punished. Bad ideas, procrastinating, etc. are less appealing when we know we have to sit in “the chair” and think about what we've done.
4. Digitally recording pen
This gadget exists and I want one so bad it almost hurts. The LiveScribe pen records what you write and records audio as well. Then you can upload it all to your computer. How awesome is that? So Santa, there’s your orders. Get on it.
5. Procrastination Detector
Or more like a deterrent I guess. We need something that gives us an unpleasant slap on the wrist sort of thing when we lose focus and wander away from writing for longer than a few minutes. Maybe a shock or a pinch or a good soaking. Nothing lethal of course. That’d be overdoing it a little bit.
6. Whiteboard
You could get a small, pre-made whiteboard, like the normals do, or you could go big and get that IdeaPaint, which allows you to use your ENTIRE WALL as a whiteboard. I get palpitations just thinking about it.
7. Headphones
Noise-cancelling or headphones connected to an iPod or whatever. This helps to cancel out the noise that family makes. Annoying shits. Don’t they know we’re working?
8. Chew toys
Because chewing a pen is nasty.
9. Journal
Every writer should have a journal. I don’t care if it’s a piece of shit notepad from the dollar store, you need something to jot your thoughts and such in. Do you know how many ideas we just ignore every day? Write that shit down! Oh and do not leave said journal where the children will find it. Just don’t. I speak from experience. Bad things.
10. Sense of humor.
Okay, so it’s not a tangible thing, but every writer needs a sense of humor. A writer without a sense of humor is like…suicidal.
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