Sometimes, the right thing to write is “have sex.” Sometimes, “fuck” is the proper terminology for your character/scene. But what about all those other moments when neither is quite right? Behold! The answer to your sexy-time woes. Read, laugh, weep, then put the phrases into your character’s mouths. Any good ones I’ve missed?
Coitus
A bit of the ol’ in and out
Beast with two backs
Making whoopee
Horizontal hula
Feather bed jig
Sink the sausage
Feed the kitty
Barneymugging
The disappearing cane trick
Boffing/Shagging
Makin’ bacon
Buzz the brillo
How’s your father?
Roast the broomstick
Post a letter
Making feet for children’s shoes
Introduce Charley
Midnight jockey ride
Rolling the newspaper