The Craft of Writing :: The craft of rewriting-Technical Flaws-Thoughts-Deep POV to show thoughts

The craft of rewriting-Technical Flaws-Thoughts-Deep POV to show thoughts

By OFW chief editor: Carlos J Cortes And Renée Miller

Published: March 15, 2013

Deep POV, or a tight POV, is the best way to show thoughts in fiction writing. Deep POV provides a seamless integration of thoughts into narrative, and it feels natural for the reader. We are able to show thoughts without distracting with tags or italics, making the experience more enjoyable for the reader. Everything is experienced through the character’s eyes, so both emotions and thoughts are clear.

For example:

Don’t: She’d have to explain this, but how? Barbara pulled her neighbor from the pool and curled her nose. She wondered if she should just dispose of his body.

Do: She’d have to explain this, but how? Barbara pulled her neighbor from the pool and curled her nose. She could just get rid of the body.

In this example, the reader knows that she is looking at the world through Barbara’s eyes. The opening sentence is deep in Barbara’s POV. Barbara is obviously asking “but how?” Adding “she wondered” intrudes on the scene and pulls away from the character’s POV. The tag isn’t needed at all, as we see in the second example.

Deep POV also makes those important thoughts stand out when we do decide to use italics.

She’d have to explain this, but how? Barbara pulled her neighbor from the pool and curled her nose. Just get rid of the body.

Writer’s Companion, Renee Miller & Carlos Cortes

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