Ten Things You Should Know Before Dating a Writer

By OFW editor: Renée Miller

Published: July 05, 2013

So some nut jobs think that dating a writer would be cool. I mean, of course your friends will be totally impressed, right? Wrong. You’ll say, “She’s a writer.” and they’ll say, “so she’s unemployed?” and you’ll say, “No, she has a day job, until she makes it big at least.” and they’ll say, “So she like, hallucinates a lot?” Because this is what people think about writers. Either we’re super smart, cool, mysterious folks, or we’re lazy, unemployed whackjobs. The truth is, we’re like you, only better—possibly dangerous at times. But hey, if you’re aware of the potential issues that pop up in every writer/non-writer relationship when you’re going into the whole thing, then maybe you’ll be our forever man/woman. At the very least, you’ll be our source of sex and companionship until we get this damn book finished. So, either way it’s a win-win, right?

1. We’re almost always broke.

Unless we lucked into kickass jobs, which isn’t usually the case. The only rich writer is a famous writer, and they don’t associate with normal, so odds are pretty good you’re getting a broke fool. Also, any writer worth anything is also an avid reader, and we'll totally spend the rent money on new books. So um...don't count on us when we say we'll pay for shit. Have a Plan B.

2. When inspiration strikes, you shall be abandoned.

We’ll flake on you. Guaranteed. Don’t take it personally. We know we promised to meet you at that place, and now we’re like two hours late. Yes, you called and we were all “just give me ten minutes” and that was like one hour and fifty minutes ago. Here’s the thing: Inspiration waits for no man or woman. Sorry. If we’re in the mood to write, or an idea slaps us upside the head, we have to deal with that shit. We’ll be no good to you until we do.

3. You will be forever immortalized in something.

Let me let you in on a secret: If the writer you’re dating hasn’t written anything about you, then she's not that into you. Hey, I’m just the messenger. I’ve written everyone I’ve ever cared about into my stories. Maybe they’re not a particular character, but something of them is in there somehow. So, if you don’t inspire her…well, best keep that bag packed.

4. If you Google us, you have only yourself to blame.

There is probably a disturbing amount of information about us on the Internet. This is good. We want this because writers become successful by being known. The downside is that you’re probably known too if you mean anything to us. You might have a code name, but you’ll recognize yourself. You can’t get mad at us for doing it either, it’s our JOB. Google us, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

5. We’re sometimes a bit on the annoying side of dramatic.

Okay, so we’re neck deep in drama all the time. How can we not have an episode now and then? Of course, none of us will admit we’re drama queens, but seriously, is there anyone else you know who hangs on every word of every conversation around her? Even strangers are fascinating. As for the tantrums and theatrics that seem to come out of the blue, that’s easily explained. You see, when you’re creating, you get really into that shit. So into it, that it’s like you’re inside each character experiencing what they are. When you step away, it’s hard to shrug that off, you know? So sometimes it’s not really us you’re dealing with. It’s our alter ego. Just roll with it.

6. We’re nerds.

Actually we’re gross nerds. Writing is mentally draining, and we might not shower quite as often as we should. We also have to do heaps of research. Getting lost in various information and fact sites is a natural by-product of said research. So sometimes we’ll tell you shit that you’re like, “Dude! I don’t want to know! God!” And writing requires a certain gross nerd uniform: sweatpants/pajama pants, lucky shirt/socks/hat and some type of ugly-ass sweater or housecoat. Usually these items are ripped or stained. When we’re heavy into a project, we get little sunlight and live on coffee and whatever is handy. Your job is to make sure we go outside periodically. Yes, even if we threaten to kill you. We’ll love you again later.

7. You will never make a good editor, and it’s probably best that you never offer.

Your writer lover may ask for your opinion on his work, but goddamn it, do not humor him! He’s going to get all pissed off and suspicious. Eventually he’ll be all, “You’re jealous of my writing. How can you hate something that is part of me?” It’s all downhill from there, you know. We don’t really want your opinion. So just say, “Oh I know nothing about writing or editing. I wouldn’t know where to begin.” We’ll agree that you know nothing. How silly of us to ask you to give an opinion on something you can't possibly understand. And voila! Happy times are here to stay.

8. We have no such thing as a schedule.

Sure we go to work when we have to, and we feed animals/kids/plants most of the time, but outside of work hours, schedules are a writer’s nemesis. We really want to keep to a schedule and try to make plans, but you cannot plan around writing. Not totally. It’s worse if writing is our job…that pays the bills. I’ve lost entire days man. Entire. Days.

9. We drink a lot.

Not just booze. Jeeze, stereotype much? We find our drink of choice, be it coffee, booze, Red Bull, or whatever, and we drink the shit out of it. If you love us, it’ll be your responsibility to see that it is always on hand. Seriously, run out once and really bad things will happen.

10. We might be crazy.

But not in a bad way. Yes, we mutter to ourselves, space out from time to time and become so emotionally involved with our stories that you don’t know who you’ll be talking to from one minute to the next, but we’re not the kind of crazy that requires medication. And also, you’ll never be bored, am I right? Well except for when we abandon you to write, but for the rest of the time, we’ll have you on the edge of your seat.

Bonus tip: Learn how to handle a shovel. Don’t ask. You’ll see.

6 Comments

Post Comments

Ronicodemumilag Aifsengh
Thursday, 18 Jul 2013 03:15 AM

[b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]tiffany outlet[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]stores sell tiffany jewelry[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]sell tiffany and co jewelry[/url][/b] [b]tiffany outlet
stores sell tiffany jewelry
sell tiffany and co jewelry
tiffany silver jewelry
cheap tiffany and co jewelry

tiffany jewelry outlet
tiffany and co outlet
tiffany outlet online
tiffany outlet store
tiffany outlet locations

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Ronicodemumilag Aifsengh
Thursday, 18 Jul 2013 03:15 AM

[b]tiffany outlet[/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]stores sell tiffany jewelry[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]sell tiffany and co jewelry[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]tiffany silver jewelry[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]cheap tiffany and co jewelry[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]tiffany outlet[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]stores sell tiffany jewelry[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]sell tiffany and co jewelry[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]tiffany silver jewelry[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]cheap tiffany and co jewelry[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]tiffany jewelry outlet[/url][/b] [b]tiffany and co outlet[/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]tiffany outlet online[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]tiffany outlet store[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.selltiffanyoutlet.com/]tiffany outlet locations[/url][/b]

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Ronicodemumilag Aifsengh
Tuesday, 09 Jul 2013 06:11 AM

[b][url=http://www.ladymenclothing.com]cheap clothing[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.ladymenclothing.com]cheap clothing
dress clothes
t-shirt
clothing
cheap clothing

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Ronicodemumilag Aifsengh
Tuesday, 09 Jul 2013 06:11 AM

cheap clothing
dress clothes
t-shirt
clothing
cheap clothing

cheap clothing
dress clothes
t-shirt
clothing
cheap clothing

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Ronicodemumilag Aifsengh
Monday, 08 Jul 2013 05:19 PM

[b][url=http://www.bigpocketwatches.com/rolex-watchesgt-c-1.html]Replica watches[/url][/b] [b][url=http://www.bigpocketwatches.com/rolex-watchesgReplica watches
Rolex
rolex watches
watch
replica omega

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Ronicodemumilag Aifsengh
Monday, 08 Jul 2013 05:19 PM

Replica watches | Replica watches | Rolex | Breitling | Hublot

Rolex replica watches, replica Rolexs

language:

Your cart is empty

Home Rolex Watches Omega Watches Bvlgari Watches Cartier Watches IWC Watches Shipping & Returns Contact Us

Currencies

Featured - more

Replica Grade AAA Omega Speedmaster-om116

$126.00

Replica Grade AAA Omega Speedmaster-om118

$126.00

Replica Grade AAA Omega Speedmaster-om38

$126.00

Replica Grade AAA Omega Speedmaster-om115

$126.00

Home :: Rolex Watches->

Rolex Watches->

Displaying 73 to 90 (of 173 products)

[<< Prev] 1 2 3 4 5 ... [Next >>]

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl24 Black, gold and Steel - a classic combination for a classic... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl26 Yet another powerful DateJust, this is one of our best... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl36 Silver and black- a touch of luxury and a touch of mystery... $150.00
Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl39 Extravagance never looked so good as it does in this... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl4 Large, bold and elegant, this DateJust is the Rolex replica... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl40 A beautiful honeycomb of colored dots makes a stunning dial... $150.00
Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl42 Gold with Steel trim is a great reversal of the expected... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl43 With a gold and steel band that links right into the... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl44 Another DateJust from our replica ladies Rolex series, this... $150.00
Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl45 A scaled dial sets the tone here, bringing this replica... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl46 Unmissable- the black dial is simply haunting on this... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl48 A sleeker DateJust for women or men, this Rolex replica is... $150.00
Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl5 Silver wit golden trim on the bezel and band, this DateJust... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl53 Different shades of gold combine to stunning effect in this... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl54 An interior shaded circle in the center of the dial makes... $150.00
Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl57 Another DateJust in our series of Rolex replica watches,... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl58 With smoother contours than others in our replica Rolex... $150.00	Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl59 A sparkling dial is just stunning on this replica Rolex.... $150.00

Displaying 73 to 90 (of 173 products)

[<< Prev] 1 2 3 4 5 ... [Next >>]

Replica watches
Rolex
rolex watches
watch
replica omega

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Currencies

Categories

Featured - more

Rolex Watches->

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl24

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl26

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl36

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl39

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl4

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl40

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl42

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl43

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl44

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl45

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl46

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl48

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl5

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl53

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl54

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl57

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl58

Replica Grade AAA Rolex Datejust-rl59

Post Comment (Required)

Abuse Report (Required)

Archives:

Sites we love