Sometimes I'll be reading a book and the characters do something that makes me pause. Then I'm all "Seriously? No one can do that." Then I Google it to find out. Do you want your readers to pause and visit Google? No, you don't. Once they get there, all hope is lost. Google is a black pit of time-wasting, I tell you. So I've gathered a list of physically impossible things for humans, because I don't want my readers leaving me before the last page. And yes, I totally expect a few disagreements. What matters in the end is that I know I'm right.
1. Move your leg in a clockwise circle and simultaneously draw a "6" with your hand.
And you’re so trying it right now, aren’t you? Your leg will change direction every time you try.
2. Place your hand palm down on a flat surface, and raise it up on so just your fingertips touch the surface. Now, curl your middle finger under and try to raise your ring finger.
Can’t do it, huh? Stop lying, I know you can’t.
3. Sneeze with your eyes open.
They close every time. I think it's the body's way of preventing your eyeballs from blasting out of their sockets. Of course, that's a completely unscientific hypothesis.
4. Tickle yourself.
This has been proven scientifically. Basically, your brain predicts the sensation and cancels the response. I’m just wondering who’d want to tickle themselves. It’s kind of annoying enough when other people do it.
5. Hiss/laugh/spit/sigh/growl a sentence.
Neither can your characters, you hear me?
6. Jump vertically higher than half your height.
Unless you have freakishly long legs or superpowers.
7. Stop a blush.
Trust me, this Irish lass has tried many times.
8. Count your strands of hair.
Unless you’re like…baldish. Otherwise, people with a full head of hair cannot count them all. But feel free to try.
9. Say any letter of the alphabet without opening your lips.
A kid pointed this out to me. She’s right.
10. Resist trying at least half of these things to prove me wrong.
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Daisy Grainger Monday, 18 Mar 2013 04:25 PM via Facebook
I'm a ventriloquist so 9. is easy and 1 2 and 5 aren't impossible ;)
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Anonymous Guest Monday, 15 Jul 2013 11:20 PM
I sneeze with my eyes open almost all the time when i try to hold it in. More like "it's impossible (for me) to not bash my head off something when I sneeze".
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Adam Gaylord Thursday, 21 Jun 2012 11:30 AM
I was able to do #1 and #2 on my first try. And I know people who can do #6. I do like your hypothesis for #3 though. I'm pretty sure I know how we can test it but it won't be pretty.
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Renée Miller (OFW Editor) Thursday, 21 Jun 2012 02:00 PM
Really? You did one and two? I want video. For number six, I should clarify that I mean from a dead start, no running to use speed as leverage. Simply jumping vertically. If you bend your knees, that's cheating.
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Anonymous Guest Saturday, 10 Nov 2012 07:27 PM
# 2 is easy
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Anonymous Guest Monday, 26 Nov 2012 07:42 PM
If you tickle yourself really lightly under your belly you can tickle yourself,#9 say "L" #1, start from the center and slowly work your way up.
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Anonymous Guest Thursday, 21 Feb 2013 12:55 PM
ok
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Anonymous Guest Sunday, 12 May 2013 06:55 PM
You did it wrong, you're supposed to lift the ring finger by itself
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Anonymous Guest Monday, 25 Feb 2013 12:32 PM
Nobody can jump if they don't bend their knees....
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Anonymous Guest Wednesday, 05 Dec 2012 03:31 PM
Smae here, they are so easy. And you can tickle yourself. And, say "L" with your mouth closed. These are so easy. I'm mad i wasted my time here. :(
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Anonymous Guest Sunday, 20 Jan 2013 10:05 AM
um u cant say '' L '' with out parting ur lips ....
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Anonymous Guest Tuesday, 05 Mar 2013 09:49 PM
You can't do 2 :L Stop lying. You don't have the ligament power in your 4th finger. Unless you were doing it wrong
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Anonymous Guest Saturday, 20 Apr 2013 02:18 PM
Exactly.
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Anonymous Guest Tuesday, 21 May 2013 08:32 AM
1 is easy, 6 I can backflip on the spot witch I jump almost 34 of my height, 4 tickled the roof of my mouth, 10 I only tryed 4 so that's not half, so most of these "impossible" facts are bull sh#t haha
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Anonymous Guest Saturday, 08 Jun 2013 12:21 AM
you can't tell someone that they don't have the ligament power. that's really dumb.
Sometimes I'll be reading a book and the characters do something that makes me pause. Then I'm all "Seriously? No one can do that." Then I Google it to find out. Do you want your readers to pause and visit Google? No, you don't. Once they get there, all hope is lost. Google is a black pit of time-wasting, I tell you. So I've gathered a list of physically impossible things for humans, because I don't want my readers leaving me before the last page. And yes, I totally expect a few disagreements. What matters in the end is that I know I'm right.
Monday, 18 Mar 2013 04:25 PM via Facebook
I'm a ventriloquist so 9. is easy and 1 2 and 5 aren't impossible ;)
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Monday, 15 Jul 2013 11:20 PM
I sneeze with my eyes open almost all the time when i try to hold it in. More like "it's impossible (for me) to not bash my head off something when I sneeze".
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Thursday, 21 Jun 2012 11:30 AM
I was able to do #1 and #2 on my first try. And I know people who can do #6. I do like your hypothesis for #3 though. I'm pretty sure I know how we can test it but it won't be pretty.
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Thursday, 21 Jun 2012 02:00 PM
Really? You did one and two? I want video. For number six, I should clarify that I mean from a dead start, no running to use speed as leverage. Simply jumping vertically. If you bend your knees, that's cheating.
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Saturday, 10 Nov 2012 07:27 PM
# 2 is easy
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Monday, 26 Nov 2012 07:42 PM
If you tickle yourself really lightly under your belly you can tickle yourself,#9 say "L" #1, start from the center and slowly work your way up.
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Thursday, 21 Feb 2013 12:55 PM
ok
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Sunday, 12 May 2013 06:55 PM
You did it wrong, you're supposed to lift the ring finger by itself
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Monday, 25 Feb 2013 12:32 PM
Nobody can jump if they don't bend their knees....
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Wednesday, 05 Dec 2012 03:31 PM
Smae here, they are so easy. And you can tickle yourself. And, say "L" with your mouth closed. These are so easy. I'm mad i wasted my time here. :(
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Sunday, 20 Jan 2013 10:05 AM
um u cant say '' L '' with out parting ur lips ....
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Tuesday, 05 Mar 2013 09:49 PM
You can't do 2 :L Stop lying. You don't have the ligament power in your 4th finger. Unless you were doing it wrong
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Saturday, 20 Apr 2013 02:18 PM
Exactly.
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Tuesday, 21 May 2013 08:32 AM
1 is easy, 6 I can backflip on the spot witch I jump almost 34 of my height, 4 tickled the roof of my mouth, 10 I only tryed 4 so that's not half, so most of these "impossible" facts are bull sh#t haha
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Saturday, 08 Jun 2013 12:21 AM
you can't tell someone that they don't have the ligament power. that's really dumb.
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Monday, 17 Jun 2013 07:54 AM
HATERS KEEP HATING POTATOES KEEP POTATING
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Monday, 17 Jun 2013 07:54 AM
HATERS KEEP HATING POTATOES KEEP POTATING
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Saturday, 13 Jul 2013 08:28 PM
i did it
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